Busted! - Chapter 8.5: First Time (Continued)

"Menzi, what are you doing here?" I asked. I was happy to see him but at the same time I was surprised that he had actually come to see me. He kept on saying "I can't" and I didn't understand what he was on about. "I'm not marrying Zodwa, my mom came back from the conference and my uncles are so adamant on us paying lobola for Zodwa!" he said. I didn't understand what Menzi expected me to do about the situation because it sounded to me like it was a done deal. "What do you want me to do Menzi?" I asked. "Go to my house and tell my uncles we're together!" he said. He was mad. He was literally going insane. I really wanted to help him get out of the situation but the least I did, the better the situation would be. Menzi wanted me to take the fall for him and I couldn't agree to that. It was a very cowardly move so I refused.

He then stormed out of my room. The way I was so tired, I didn't even try to follow him. I immediately went back to sleep, this time locking my door because I didn't want any more disturbances. Six hours later, at around 9pm, I heard a number of people knocking on my door and calling out my name. I tried to get up but I was so dizzy. I couldn't even lift my head off of the pillow. I tried to move my legs and it hit me at that point that I was suffering some form of temporary paralysis even though at that time I didn't know whether it was temporary or permanent. I opened my eyes and when I tried to speak, nothing would happen, I'd hear myself talking but nothing was actually happening. I then started to cry because I was panicking. I calmed myself down and tried again for the 50th time to get out of my bed but I couldn't. Eventually the guys in the house managed to break my door down. KG was the first to rush in followed by Lincoln and then everyone else.

"Earl wake up!" KG said. "Earl what's going on?" Lincoln asked frantically. I could see them, my eyes were wide open but I couldn't move nor say anything to them, the only signal I could give to show them I was in some form of trouble was to cry. Lincoln then picked me up and together with KG, Sihle and Morithi; they rushed me to the hospital.

KG drove with Lincoln in the front. I sat at the back with Sihle and Morithi. Sihle was trying his best to keep me warm because I had started shaking. Morithi on the other hand was crying. "Please don't die Earl" he cried. I really wanted to laugh. Lincoln kept turning back to brush my head, apparently because that is a calming technique and KG was trying hard not to notice what Lincoln was doing.

When we got to the hospital, the doctor performed some checks on me and realized that my blood pressure had gone up the roof. My diagnosis: depression. The doctor had me sedated and the guys left to go back to the commune. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and realizing I was in hospital, I was thirsty and all I wanted was a glass of water but I couldn't talk and I couldn't even maneuver my body to press the call button. I peacefully passed out again…

Busted! - Chapter 8.4: First Time

The next morning I woke up not wanting anything to do with anyone. I actually took it upon myself that day to stay in bed all day and just not interact with anyone as that would just find a way to mess with my day. The doctor had told me to stay at home and REST and that's exactly what I was doing. I didn't have an appetite for food, money or even people.

I felt really bad about my being unable to tell Sihle about the Malcolm situation especially because he was the one who told me about Lincoln and Kelebogile back then. Had it not been for Sihle I would probably still be unhappy with Lincoln whilst he divided himself between Kelebogile and I. At least back then I didn't even know who Kelebogile was but when that changed, I couldn't help but feel bad because I knew what kind of person she was and I knew that she didn't deserve any of the pain Lincoln was causing her.

That day Menzi called to tell me that his mother wanted to see me, but because of the state I woke up in, I told him I'd come some other time. Kelebogile then came up to check up on me. She was a very sweet girl who cared about everyone in the house. When I looked at her, I found the fact that Lincoln was on my tail totally unfathomable but I kept it to myself and found myself engaging in a conversation with Kelebogile about anything BUT Lincoln. When she left, I called my mother and hoped that she would be able to lift up my spirits; all she could tell me was that I had to leave Joburg and return to Cape Town.

She also told me that she got engaged a few days earlier and that I should prepare myself for her wedding too. It seemed like everyone in my life was getting married and it was really starting to get to me. I found myself hopping from one relationship to the next in hopes of finding that ONE guy that I'd marry but that wasn't happening for me. God knows I also wanted to get married to Thebe when I was with him but because that wasn't going to happen, I felt like everyone else was just getting married, almost like God was rubbing it in my face. I got up and took a shower and then I put my pyjamas back on and went back to sleep. I was feeling so tired, I even found it hard to open my eyes.

Menzi came into my room and woke me up. I slowly got up and looked to see if it was him but I was so drowsy that I just looked the opposite direction and passed out again. "Earl!" he shouted. I jumped up and it really was him. I wasn't dreaming…

Busted! - Chapter 8.3: It's Okay!

I got into my bedroom and made myself comfortable. I turned on my TV and started eating on my bed. I really hate eating in my bedroom but I guess there was no other place where I could be by myself besides outside or in the bathroom which wasn't going to be conducive. As I was sitting there I heard a knock on my door. "Who is it?" I asked. It was Malcolm and he had come to talk to me because he didn't understand why there was so much animosity between us. I told him that I knew about him and Gabriel and asked him to explain to me what exactly was going on. He told me that he and Gabriel started dating long before Sihle came back into the picture but he couldn't break up with Gabriel because he didn't want to hurt his feelings. Malcolm was so obsessed with being the good guy and I guess he didn't realize that sometimes he hurts people more than he intends to by trying so hard to be good. I told Malcolm to do what he believes is the right thing. He then left my room.

Moments later Lincoln came up to my room to ask me if I was okay. "One moment you're setting up a table and next thing you know, you're not even eating on it" he said. I told him that I just felt like being by myself and that he shouldn't worry about me. He then started doing what he normally does when he gets some alone time with me, flirt. When he could see that I wasn't reciprocating, he told me what he always tells me when we're alone only this time he was very emotional. "I know you don't believe me but I am so in love with you, in fact I'm stuck with a girl I'll never love like I do you because society says it's the right thing to do." He said. "And I still say that the day you actually grow a backbone, we probably can have this conversation again and actually get somewhere, otherwise please stop bombarding me with this information, it actually pisses me off!" I said. He was astonished, I don't think he expected that much honesty from me, but I guess this is what I mean when I say you can save a lot of people pain if you just stopped trying to be the good guy.

We worry so much about what our family will say or what our friends will say and sometimes we have reason to, but people learn to accept things as they are. Coming out is a frightening thing to do, it just makes people feel uncomfortable and that is why it is such a gradual process but one thing that we don't realize is that it all starts with us. We know how the situation is, and because we do, we need to realize that it is no longer in control of us.

I went to my bathroom to wash my face and I started thinking about all the secrets that had started to get to me. There was Lincoln whom I believe needed me more than I could actually imagine. Malcolm was cheating on my best friend and I had no idea what a best friend was supposed to do in a situation like that especially because lovers have a way of reconnecting, leaving you looking foolish. Thobile was also up to no good and I was so close to Morithi that it actually felt like she was doing whatever she was doing to me and then there was the big elephant in the room, KG and I. I felt bad almost every day especially when I looked at Lerato and saw how sweet she was. It just haunted me, so much that I felt like the best thing to do was to minus myself from the equation… eternally.

Busted! - Chapter 8.2: Break The Ice

We arrived at the Gigolo's Castle. Lincoln took Kelebogile and they went inside the house. I stayed behind collecting stuff in my car and then I followed them behind. When I got inside the house I found Malcolm and Sihle watching TV. I didn't say a thing to Malcolm; I just gave him the "I know what you're up to" look and went upstairs. Sihle was a bit shocked at the way I behaved towards Malcolm but I believe he would have done the same if he was in my position. I slowly opened my bedroom door because I wasn't looking forward to finding a naked KG inside. Luckily for me, the coast was clear.

I sat in my room, trying my best to let go of the whole Malcolm and Gabriel situation. A part of me really wanted to let Sihle know but I didn't want to be the bearer of bad news. I called Gavin to let him know what I had heard and he was just not having it. "Where does this Gabriel live? I'll pay him a visit!" Gavin said. I knew it was a bad idea telling him because he would just take the whole situation and exaggerate it; it was in his nature to do so. Menzi's mom on the other hand was returning the following day and I had planned to go see her because I needed her to explain to me what was happening but I just decided to let it go and let things play out the way that they were intended to.

Downstairs, Morithi was preparing dinner and Thobile was helping him and because I wanted to keep busy, I decided to help. It was quite tense in the kitchen because of the way things were between me and Thobile, but Morithi didn't pick it up.

"You look down, what's up?" Morithi asked. "Nothing, I'm okay." I quickly replied. "You look good by the way" Morithi added. I just blushed and took some plates with me and left the kitchen.

I went to help Thobile set up the dinner table. "So have you thought about it?" she asked. "Thought about what? I didn't think about anything because my mind was so infested with the idea that you and Nigel actually have a secret something going on. So…if you can keep your mouth shut, I'll do the same!" I replied. She looked like she was about to have a heart attack and she dropped the plate she had in her hand. Luckily she didn't get cut. Nigel on the other hand was the first to rush to the table to check if she didn't hurt herself. I just rolled my eyes as usual and walked away from the table.

I went to sit in the lounge with everyone else. "So you did you hair Earl?" asked Malcolm. "No hey, I undid it. I mean it is quite obvious that I did!" I replied. Malcolm got a little angry. "Dude, what's wrong with you today?" he asked. "With me? I think I should be asking what's wrong with you!" I replied. "What the hell are you on about Earl?" asked Malcolm. "Dude, do me a favour, I'm very hungry right now and I'd really prefer if you didn't spoil my appetite." I said. KG obviously had to make a comment about the drama in the house before the doorbell went off. I went to open and it was Gavin. "Where is he?" he said as he entered the house. I told him to calm down and not cause any drama because we still had to deal with the situation before he reacted.

We sat down to have dinner. Everyone sat there in their duos and Gavin was just looking at Malcolm whilst playing with his knife. I thought he was going to do something very stupid so I got up and went to my bedroom before things got out of hand. I didn't want to be a part of that drama.

Busted! - Chapter 8.1: You're Lying Right?

I went to go see my doctor because I had actually started to believe that I was stressed and that I wasn't aware of it. He told me that I was overworking myself and that it would be advisable for me to stay home until the following Monday.

Immediately after that, I headed to the spa to pamper and rejuvenate myself. I am a very self-conscious person and when someone highlights a flaw I knew nothing about, I try to fix it if not make it look better. When I was done with everything, I could actually see that I was coming back to life. All that was left was for me to go to the salon to get my hair done. When I got there, Noma was still busy with another client so I grabbed a magazine and sat at the waiting area. Noma's salon was the best place to go for gossip and apparently I was the trending topic that day.

"Me?" I asked Noma. "Yes, apparently you had a boyfriend in Cape Town whom you broke up with because your mother was having an affair with him!" she said. "You know that's not true, I mean you know my mother". I replied. "Of course I do, but that's the rumour right now together with the fact that you are sleeping around with married men" she added. "Married men?" I asked. "Yes, Menzi and that guy… your ex, Lincoln" she said. I just laughed, see that's the thing with gossip, the more it spreads, the more twisted it becomes. There's always an element of truth which is then stretched by different kinds of people and ends up losing its truth. I asked Noma who was feeding her all those lies and she told me it was someone I wouldn't even think of.

She refused to tell me who it was but what I knew is that the only two people that would know that kind of information were Sihle and Gavin whom did not go to Noma's Salon.

"So why didn't you tell me Malcolm was gay?" she asked and just like that, I knew exactly where she got her information from. Sihle obviously being a relationship with Malcolm meant that he shared things with him that he was not supposed to and then Malcolm brought them to the grapevine that is Noma's salon. "Now where did you get that one?" I asked as I rolled my eyes. "Malcolm is dating my friend, Gabriel. They were here an hour ago all cuddly on my couch." said Noma. I just froze. "Noma are you serious?" I asked just to be sure. "I'm telling you! They were here not so long ago. Malcolm was here to do his hair." Noma added. I didn't want to comment because then I'd be responsible for introducing yet another rumour so I just changed the subject and talked about other things just so that I could protect Sihle.

The only thing that was bothering me then was that I was stuck between letting Sihle know and trying to find out more before jumping into conclusions.

Lincoln sent me a text asking if I was going to head back to the office because he needed a ride home. It wasn't part of my plan but I went to the office to pick him up anyway. Upon my arrival I learnt that Kelebogile was there with him. I didn't even have time to ask why she was there, they got into the car and we went to the commune. On the way Lincoln kept passing compliments my way and I could see that Kelebogile was not taking kindly to it. In a nutshell, I couldn't wait to get home.  

Busted! - Chapter 7.5: Surprise!

Later on that day I received a visit from the most unexpected person, Thebe. He was in town so he decided to come and see me and he had also come to drop off a wedding invitation. Now you can imagine how powerless and fed up I was beginning to feel, so many weddings to digest!  I thought it was his until I opened and learnt that it was Thapelo's. It seemed like people were getting married everywhere. Thebe was looking hot as usual. Seeing him brought back a lot of feelings but I knew that I had to contain them for my mother's sake.

Thapelo is one of our straight friends from Cape Town. He managed a gay club that Thebe and I used to frequent and we ended up becoming friends because of his open mindedness. I believe that if a straight guy can be comfortable with gay folk, it means that they are already comfortable with themselves. Men that try to make gay men feel uncomfortable are mirroring exactly what it is that they feel. Thebe stayed for a while and we got to catch up and also discuss what we would wear for the wedding which was to happen in exactly two months from that day.

I called Cliff who works in the fashion department and I set up an appointment with him so that he could design something for me to wear at the wedding. That was another nice thing about 3Complex, the fact that we had everything we needed at our disposal.

Thebe told me that he had moved on with his life and that it was hard for him but he knew that it was for the best. He told me he missed me and I felt the same. I felt like if Thebe was still in my life, none of the drama that I was faced with in Joburg would have happened. My life with Thebe was very mellow and I got used to that serene kind of set up until I returned to Johannesburg. I was happy to learn that Thapelo was finally getting married to Olebogeng. Thapelo chased that girl for four years before she eventually gave in, and when she did, Thapelo did everything in his power to ensure that Ole stays happy. They had the kind of relationship everyone envied. One could have sworn that they never had downs in their relationship but the manner in which they handled their downs was what made them such a special couple.

Thebe left and then I went up to the fashion department to see Cliff. He took my measurements and highlighted the fact that I was losing weight. I just laughed it off. He then told me that he would send me some sketches the next day so that he could know what it is that he must make for me. "So do you really think I lost weight?" I asked him because I was really concerned. "Darling, have you looked at yourself lately, you look like you died two days ago!" he said. Clifford was brutally honest and for the first time that day, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw how I let myself go since Cape Town. I was clearly not handling my break up with Thebe as well as I thought I was and obviously being in Johannesburg meant that I got to stress more than I would whilst I was still in Cape Town.

I booked myself into a spa that day and set an appointment with Noma who happens to be my hairdresser so that she could do something with my long disoriented dreadlocks.

Busted! - Chapter 7.4: Look Who's Talking!

As were driving to work, Lincoln told me that his late uncle had been frequenting his dreams. He asked me what it meant and this was because one of my gifts was the ability to interpret dreams. I told him that his uncle was trying to communicate something to him and that he should just listen.

"Earl, I love you" Lincoln said out of the blue. "And then? Are you okay?" I replied trying hard not to laugh at him. He then told me that he hated how close KG and I had become and that he was getting jealous. I honestly thought I was the only one who suffered from jealousy. "You and I both know that there's no other guy out there for you but me" he said confidently with a smirk on his face. He was obviously taking reference from my failed relationship with Menzi. I tried hard not to laugh at him. As much as I loved Lincoln I didn't like the fact that he had an inflated ego and most of the time instead of listening to him, I would be focusing on popping it and shaking my head at how shallow he would sometimes become. "I really wonder who goes around feeding you all these lies." I said. I was obviously joking but he took it to heart and we spent the rest of our trip not talking to each other. I was fine with it because I knew Lincoln, he couldn't stay angry for  long and he always apologised, even when he was not wrong.

We got to the office and it was empty because we were there earlier than expected. I went to my office and Lincoln followed me. He entered and then he closed the door. He then looked around my office and I could see that he was really impressed with what he saw. In my head though, I stood there thinking "What is he up to now?" He then walked up to me and I walked away. The whole situation with KG had me feeling like a bit of a whore and I was trying my best not to feel that way about myself anymore. Lincoln then pulled me and started kissing me… I bit his tongue. "Are you mad?" he screamed as he pulled away. I just looked at him and smiled.

It's quite sad to see the kinds of situations girls get themselves into with men that are attracted to other men. Kelebogile was about to get married to Lincoln, the gayest man I know. I felt really sorry for her and I hoped that she got to experience Lincoln fully without me disturbing the peace. Lincoln stormed out of my office. I sat down and had myself a good laugh, I deserved it. Sihle called to tell me he would be coming in to the office later that day and that only meant that I'd have more work to do by myself.

Busted! - Chapter 7.3: Brain Torture

On the very same night, the same dream I had earlier on repeated itself. This time I was able to go and see what happening in the other grave which I didn't choose in the first dream. When I looked inside I saw a woman crying, I couldn't make out who the woman was but I saw that she was crying because a man was moving out. This time around, I wasn't afraid at all. I was very calm and watched everything as it happened even though I didn't know who the people were.

At 4am I woke up and I sat up trying to make sense of it all. I then checked my phone to see if there was anything I missed. Lincoln had sent me a text earlier asking me if I wanted to talk. I think it was obviously because he saw me lose at Monopoly and he's the only one who knows what it means when I lose. I wasn't comfortable with Lincoln and his texts because he was texting me behind closed doors but behaved totally different in front of everyone, almost as if I didn't exist. A few minutes later when I was trying to get back to sleep, I heard footsteps coming from the passage. I slowly got out of my bed and opened my door quietly to see what was happening. I then stuck my head out and saw Thobile and Nigel sneaking in to the bathroom. I tip-toed to the bathroom door and stood there to hear if there would be any exchange of information.

When I heard everything I needed to hear, I tip toed back into my bedroom and closed my door quietly. I wasn't the only one in the house with skeletons and I was somewhat relieved because I had found some form of leverage on Thobile. I went back to sleep and woke up at 7am to prepare for work.

That morning I was really missing Menzi, as much as our cohabitation didn't last, I was getting used to having someone next to me every morning. My dreams were still confusing, they were the only thing I had on my mind but I knew that they would make sense when the time was right so I just relaxed. When I was ready, I went downstairs to have breakfast. At the table I found Thobile, Lincoln, Sihle, Malcolm and KG. "Morning guys" I said as I sat down to join them.

"So, Thobile, how's the baby doing?" I asked. "Fine, just fine!" she replied. "I see, Lincoln would you like a lift to work?" I asked. He told me that he would travel with Sihle. Malcolm wasn't happy about that and asked why Lincoln wanted to travel with Sihle when he could travel with me. "Whoa dude! It's okay, I'll go with Earl." Lincoln said to defend himself. "No, sorry, I changed my mind. I don't do lifts anymore!" I said in his response and everyone laughed. "You're still as feisty as ever Earl" KG said flirtatiously. I just laughed. "This is really disgusting!" Thobile said as she banged both her hands on the table. Everyone looked at her trying to understand her reaction. "And then Thobile?" Sihle asked. "It's the pregnancy Sihle, Lincoln let's go!" I said as I stood up to leave for work. I didn't even finish my breakfast because Thobile was getting to me.

Thobile clearly didn't know what I had on her and she tried by all means to make me feel uncomfortable but I just let her be.

Busted! - Chapter 7.2: Dream On

That night I had the strangest dream ever. I dreamt that there was someone standing at my bedroom door calling me. "Who are you?" I asked. And in Menzi's voice the man replied telling me that I should follow him. I got out of my bed and followed him. We ended up in a place filled with light, the only colour I could see was white. The man then revealed himself. It was my late grandfather.

He showed me three graves and told me to pick one and head towards it to see what was inside. I chose the grave in the middle and walked towards it. I was so scared because I didn't know what to expect and when I looked inside I was shocked to find that there was a wedding in the grave and it seemed to me as though Menzi was the one getting married. I stood there looking at this wedding in the grave until Menzi looked up at me from inside the grave and started laughing. I then turned around to ask my grandfather what that meant but he was already gone.

I was all alone in the grave yard and because my grandfather had left me there, I was so curious to find out what was happening in the other graves. I went to the 3rd grave which was on the right and looked inside. I saw a body rising, I couldn't see who it was until he was fully out of the grave. It was Lincoln and he had a human heart in his hand. It was still beating. It clearly wasn't his because he was cut or anything and there were distant voices of women crying. "Hearts?" he said. I was so confused but at the same time I was so scared that I collapsed in the dream and then I woke up.

I jumped out of my bed and went to the bathroom to wash my face. I then went downstairs to see if anyone was still awake because I was afraid to go back to sleep. I was confused because I didn't understand what the dream meant. I must say, at that point I missed Menzi because I wouldn't have to go back to bed alone.

I found the boys playing a game of Monopoly, they played that game every Monday night. I joined them but I just kept on losing. I never suck at Monopoly unless I'm really unhappy. I then left them downstairs and went outside for a smoke and then I went back to bed, I was still very much shaken by the dream but I forced myself to sleep.

Just when I was about to pass out, Thobile sent me a text. It read: "I will keep my mouth shut on one condition…" I asked her what the condition was. She told me we'd talk the following day. Shortly after that, KG came to say good night and left.

Busted! - Chapter 7.1: Confrontation

As soon as I left Menzi's place, the aim was to go to Gavin's place but I didn't because I felt that I wanted to face the issue and get it over and done with. I drove to the Gigolo's Castle and everyone was there except for Sihle. Malcolm asked me where Sihle was and I told him he was at work. I had promised to drop Sihle something to eat but since I was home, Malcolm decided to be the Good Samaritan and did just that for me.

I sat downstairs with everyone else who was watching TV at the time. Nobody knew about the drama that had happened earlier except KG, Thobile and I. Thobile wasn't impressed with me, she got up and went to the kitchen and once she was there she called me. I went to speak to her. "Why did you do what you did?" she asked. I actually froze because I didn't know what the reason for my actions was. "I'm not angry at you or anything, you know very well that KG is with Lerato yet you can sleep with him under the same roof! If you don't tell Lerato what happened, I promise you I will!" she said. Her telling Lerato would just complicate things for everyone in the house. "I'll tell her when the time is right, I do reassure you that this was definitely the first and the last time something like this happened" I said. She rolled her eyes and reiterated the fact that if I don't tell Lerato, she will do it. Thobile felt that KG mistreated Lerato and she was tired of it, the situation between KG and I drove her even crazier.

Lerato then walked in to the kitchen looking very chirpy. She clearly wasn't aware of the fact that there was some sort of tension in the kitchen between Thobile and I, and that it had a lot to do with her. I was relieved that she came when she did because that meant I could dodge the conversation Thobile and I were having. "Anyone for a cup of coffee?" Lerato asked. "I'd like a cup!" I said with a smile, obviously a fake one at that. "Yeah! Sure! Whatever!" said Thobile. She was really angry and she couldn't contain it.

KG then walked into the kitchen, obviously because he thought that Thobile and I were probably updating Lerato on what had happened so he came to make sure that didn't happen. "Thobile, you do know that coffee is not good for pregnancy right?" he said as he laughed. I think he was trying to break the ice but I guess it was still too cold for that to happen. Thobile walked out of the kitchen immediately and I followed her. I went straight up to my room to get some rest. That day was too hectic for me to handle and the best thing I could do was to just sleep on it.

Busted! - Chapter 6.5: Not Yet Over!

So there we were in the car driving to Menzi's house, it was a bit tense but at least I knew what the reason for that was. A lot of things were going on in my head. I knew that what had happened that day would just make things very difficult for me and everyone involved. Thobile was going to tell Morithi, Morithi happened to be close to Lincoln, Lerato happened to be Lincoln's favourite etc. I knew I had to run before things got intense. I called Gavin to find out if I could sleep at his place that day because I didn't want to return to the commune to face the music. He was cool with it. My mother used to say: "keeping secrets is like being stuck in traffic, the more secrets you keep, the more the traffic." I felt like I was keeping too many secrets, some of which I happened to be a part of.

Menzi sat on his phone the whole time in the car and I could see that he wanted to see himself anywhere but in my car. My phone rang, it was Morithi. I was so nervous. I thought that maybe Thobile had told him about what happened so I ignored his calls. He kept on calling until I decided to answer and feel his wrath. Luckily for me, Thobile had told him that Menzi moved out and he was calling to find out if I was fine. Sihle then sent me a text telling me that he'd be home late that day as he was putting in some overtime.

Menzi was still seated in the car, quiet as ever and I didn't like it. "So it's quite obvious that now that we are no longer together, could we at least try out this friendship thing?" I asked. To be honest with you, I don't believe that two people can be friends after a relationship if they were never friends during the relationship. I honestly believe that relationships that last longer are those where the couples are more friends than they are lovers. In that kind of situation, life is smoother and a pair becomes very close because they relate to each other on a whole different level. Menzi then asked me why I slept with KG. I couldn't answer him because I didn't know what to say. I really had no explanation for my behavior. "Can we at least talk about this?" he asked. I swear I didn't understand why Menzi still wanted to solve things between us when I had done the unforgivable. "But why do you insist on us talking about things even when you're not in the wrong?" I asked. "Because I love you with your flaws, I'm not perfect myself. I'm not saying that things will get better overnight but they will, just don't give up on us" he pleaded. I wanted to cry because I don't believe anyone ever showed me love in the way that Menzi did. I know what they mean when they talk about a fool in love.

We talked for a while before coming to the conclusion that Menzi will go home and sort his issues out with his family. Whilst he did that, I wouldn't bother him, I'd just keep to myself and let him handle the situation the best way that he could. We were both keen on giving things another try but that involved having to face our demons before we could be together again…

Busted! - Chapter 6.4: Kick Out

Menzi arrived at the house whilst I was downstairs with KG and Thobile watching TV. I was on my phone the whole time because it felt a little awkward being around KG. "Hey guys!" Menzi greeted as he headed straight to the bedroom. I stood up and followed him and I found him sitting on the bed crying. I didn't even feel sorry for him; all I wanted was for him to rid himself of me. "Menzi, get yourself together, let's go!" I said. "Earl, can we talk about this?" he pleaded. "I can explain" he said. "First start by explaining why you never mentioned getting married to the mother of your child" I insinuated. I didn't know if it was even true or not so I guess what I was trying to do was to see if the situation was real or if Mandla was just being a jerk.

He didn't deny anything; in fact he was shocked to find out that I knew. He didn't even try to back himself up. I told him to take all his bags and put them in the car. "Make sure you don't forget anything" I added. I was so angry. I was also angry at the fact that his mom knew about the situation and continued to make me look like the dumb one. I never really understood what the notion behind that was. Menzi tried by all means to get me to understand the situation through his eyes but I wasn't listening. After some time, he gave up and started taking his bags.

I went out first and waited downstairs for Menzi. He came down and bid an emotional farewell to Thobile as they had become close whilst he stayed there. KG was unsettled by Menzi's departure because he thought that he was leaving because of what had happened between him and me earlier that day. I was just hoping that KG wouldn't say anything that would jeopardize the situation further but this was KG and he wouldn't let things go without having said a word. "Menzi, it was my fault man!" he said. "KG, shut up!" I said as I was trying to get him not to say anything further. KG was genuinely feeling bad about Menzi's move because he was under the impression that he was the one at fault. "What are you talking about?" Menzi asked KG. At that very moment I wished that the earth would just swallow me up and I not be a part of that conversation. "I'm the one who seduced Earl, it really wasn't his fault" said KG. I just closed my eyes and said a short prayer to myself. And just like that, the secret was out. Thobile overheard that statement and she couldn't contain her shock. Menzi looked at me and said "Mr. Perfect? Take me home! Now!" I stood there feeling so ashamed. We then went to the car and KG stayed behind with Thobile. See, the thing with KG is that he always said the wrong things at the right time. Not only did I have Menzi to answer to, but Thobile too. Things just got tense from that point forth…

Busted! - Chapter 6.3: Cover Up!

I arrived at Menzi's house only to find that his mother had gone to a church conference and was unreachable until Thursday which was three days later. Mandla, who happens to be Menzi's twin, is the one who informed me about his mother's whereabouts. Mandla knew me as Menzi's friend and when I opted to leave seen as the mother wasn't there, he insisted that I stay for a drink.

Mandla had been in UK on a soccer tournament. He and Menzi looked alike and whenever I looked at him, I would see Menzi and get really angry. "I've got to go!" I said as I stood up. Mandla insisted that I stay so that we could catch up. He tried to tell me about Menzi's child because he was under the impression that I didn't know. He then told me that he couldn't wait to be Menzi's "best man" on the day that he gets married to Zodwa. I could have laughed because I thought he was joking but it seemed like he was being serious. It looked like every guy I dated in the past somehow got married or engaged after me.

When I had had enough, I stood up to leave and Mandla accompanied me to my car. I didn't even wait for goodbyes and more conversation, I just drove off immediately. I felt really betrayed by Menzi I couldn't even help it. All I wanted to do was to get home and pack his stuff.

Upon my arrival, I headed straight to my bedroom and found KG stark naked putting lotion on his body. He saw me and he didn't even try to cover up, in fact he just smiled at me. I went out of my room as soon as I could and I closed the door. I took a deep breath and opened the door again, this time very slowly. I looked again and he was still there, naked! I stood by the door facing the opposite direction as I was waiting for him to put some clothes on. I was very uncomfortable. I asked him what he was doing in my bedroom and he told me that the other bathrooms were occupied so he used mine instead. "I hope you don't mind" he said. "No! I don't, it's okay." I said as I patiently waited by the door.

I stood at my door, still facing the opposite direction waiting for KG to get dressed so he could leave my room. I could have gone downstairs to give him some space but I just wanted to do what I came to do as soon as possible and whilst the adrenaline rush was still high. There was an awkward silence and before I knew it, KG had pulled me inside. He locked the door and started kissing me. He picked me up and threw me on to the bed before ripping my T-shirt apart. I could have complained about him ripping my T-shirt apart but I was still shocked by his raunchiness. He got on top of me and started caressing me; please beware of the fact that he was already naked and super hard. He then removed my jeans. At that point I could have tried to stop him but I was lost in the moment. He then removed my underwear with his teeth. His tongue somehow made contact with a certain spot on my pelvic area that nearly drove me to premature ejaculation. He knew exactly what to do. KG made love to my body, he kissed and licked every part of it that was not even prone to being teased and because he had already lubricated almost every part of me, I didn't even realize that the sex had already began.

He was rough and I was angry. I didn't know what to do with myself. KG gave me the best sex ever. He knew exactly what to do and where to touch; it was quite evident that I wasn't the first guy he ever slept with. After penetrating me, I thought we would be done but he rolled over and asked that I penetrate him. He was tight! Unlike him, I didn't know how to be rough so we could say that I made love to him. He wrapped his legs around my body and had a strong clench on my back. Being inside KG felt like a being on a joyride, I didn't even want to reach the climax. Eventually I did. We both rolled over and tried to catch our breath. He looked at me, I looked at him and then he smiled and kissed me before getting up and heading to the shower for the second time. I sat up and a lit a cigarette, anyone that smokes will tell you that one of the best times to smoke is after a good round of sex!

As soon as KG was done in the shower, I followed. He left my room and went downstairs. I then got dressed and started packing Menzi's belongings. I felt much chirpier than I was before KG and I did the deed. I felt like I could take on the world. At the same time, I felt really bad. I felt like I was cheating on Menzi but he had done so much lying that I actually decided that I was done with guys. I think we all feel that way after a messy relationship but then reality comes back to hit us in the face and calmly reminds us that we cannot survive on our own.

Busted! - Chapter 6.2: That's It!

My phone rang, it was Morithi. "Where the hell are you?" I asked. He said he was in town with Nigel and asked me if everything was okay. I told him to look after himself as Menzi had an unpleasant dream about him. He always listened to me. He started panicking and I told him to calm down and be cautious. I was relieved to hear that he was alive. I went to my bedroom and found Menzi standing by the window looking at the trees. I went to take a shower and prepared to drop him off at school.

Menzi and I then drove to his school and it was so awkward because no one was saying a thing. I didn't understand what was happening but I wasn't in the mood to ask questions as they too would make things more unpleasant so I let the situation be just as it was. We got to his school, he got out of the car and came to my window to kiss me goodbye.

As I was about to leave, some girl came and tapped him on his shoulder. He turned around to see who it was and when he saw who it was, he slowly turned back to look at me. "Shit! This is Zodwa!" he said. I just looked at the girl. She then asked me if my clients knew that I was gay. "Who are you?" I asked. She told me that she had been reading about me. I stepped out of the car so that I could take a closer look at the girl and also try to understand what her connection to Menzi was. "Menzi, who is this?" I asked. "It's Zodwa, Uyanda's mother." he said. I didn't know how to react so I just looked at her and waited for her to say something that would piss me off because it seemed like she was good at that. I tried getting into my car to leave and Menzi pulled me back.

"Earl please, can we just sort this out?" he requested. Zodwa on the other hand was livid and she couldn't hide it. "Menzi, where have you been? You've been avoiding my calls and your mother doesn't even want to tell me where you are." She said. Menzi tried to get the girl to keep quiet but I asked that she carry on so I could know what the story was. She told me that she and Menzi were still together. I asked Menzi if it was true and he couldn't even utter a single word. I apologized to Zodwa and started my engine. "Bye Zodwa, nice meeting you" I said as I closed my window. Menzi opened the door.

"Menzi please leave me alone!" I angrily said. He wanted to explain the situation to me but he wasn't aware that he was creating a scene and I hate being involved in dramatic scenes such as those. Zodwa was angered by Menzi's behavior but I just told her that I'd back off and told Menzi to pick up his stuff as soon as he was done at school.

I couldn't believe what was happening. I started to feel like love was not the thing for me. I really felt like I was one of those people who had to die alone because whenever I tried this whole relationship game, I'd only hurt myself in the process. I drove to Menzi's house because I wanted to see the mother so that she could explain to me exactly what was going on. She freely gave Menzi to me knowing that she was involved with a girl, a girl who claims to have a relationship with the mother. It was quite evident that I was the one who was turned into a fool...

Busted! - Chapter 6.1: One Week Later

SWAG's 42nd issue was released and I didn't have to go into the office that day. I just wanted to use that time to relax and have absolutely nothing on my mind. It had been a week since Menzi and I started cohabitating and it was very challenging but we were still going strong. KG and I had started talking again even though things between us had changed a bit.

I was so tired and I wanted to rest but I couldn't because of Menzi's snoring. I HATE people that snore. I feel like they're selfish, just because they are sleeping, they have to make noise for those of us who are still trying to get there. It was even starting to wear me out because I was always sleepy the next day. Snoring is unfair. On the other hand, Lincoln was still sending me messages and it was starting to get on my nerves. The more I didn't reply, the more he sent them; it was as if he was possessed. "Morning babe" said Menzi as he woke up.

He said he had a strange dream about Morithi in a red taxi telling everyone that he was on his way to heaven. As funny as it sounds, I had a similar dream about my friend's sister and she was killed in a car crash the following day. I was a bit shaken. I felt uneasy, it was the same feeling I had the other night at the SWAG offices when that man tried to attack me. I sat there trying to make sense of Menzi's dream. He got up and went to take a shower and I went downstairs to go check on Morithi.

I knocked on his door and Thobile opened, she told me that Morithi had gone to town with Nigel. As soon as she told me that my heart stopped, I felt like I was losing my mind. I ran to my room to get my phone and I started calling Morithi and my calls went unanswered. I tried to call Nigel as well but his phone just kept ringing in his room where he left it. I started trembling, my mouth went completely dry and I felt like someone was strangling me. I went onto my news feed to check if there hadn't been any terrible accidents and there it was… THREE DIE IN HORROR CRASH. The post was only 20 minutes old. I immediately had an outer body experience. I couldn't even see where I was going or hear what I was saying but I remember rushing to KG to tell him that we had to go look for Morithi and Nigel just to make sure that they were okay. KG looked at me like I was on drugs. I told him about the dream Menzi had about Morithi and only then he started to panic with me. In the mean time I kept trying to call Morithi and he still wasn't answering his phone. When I turned on the news, the same accident was being televised and it was indeed a red taxi where three students had lost their lives…

Busted! - Chapter 5.5: One Big Family

I went downstairs to join everyone else and the topic that day was homosexuality. KG had returned from wherever he was and he had a very interesting opinion about homosexuality. He said homosexuality sucked. This is the same guy that was on my case in the house, making my stay uncomfortable. Malcolm said it was uncontrollable. He felt that if it was controllable, a lot of people wouldn't be doing the stuff that they do, in fact most of us would be straight because homosexuality is a bit of a challenge and it requires you to have thick skin. Lincoln said it was manipulative. I'm guessing I manipulated him into thinking that he was gay back then but then again that's what cowardly closet cases would say anyway, it's never their fault. Nigel, who was the house's least favourite guy at that moment, said that he wouldn't mind dating a gay guy if it meant it would do something for his bank account. Talk about diversity.

I was very tired from the hectic day that I had so I went to bed early that night. I stood up and wished everyone a good night before heading to bed. Menzi decided to stay downstairs for a while before coming to bed. KG was trying his best to make it look like he wasn't noticing me. He was still acting weird but I wasn't entertaining him. Lincoln also went to bed the same time as me.

I got to my bedroom and prepared to sleep. As soon as I got into bed I received a text from Lincoln. It read: "I wish I was the one sleeping with you tonight." I really wasn't in the mood for Lincoln and his mind games. I actually found that whole situation with him to be draining because one moment he says this and does the other. After years of not seeing him, he was still as confused as he was when I left him. I didn't reply to his text. That required a lot of effort, time and energy and I don't give those out for mediocrity.

Menzi had started to settle in to the house. The girls made it easy for him because like I said before, they were a bundle of joy. I told him that I was thinking of moving into my own place and also told him why I was delaying the whole process. For the first time, he actually told me to take my time. It wasn't the response I had expected but I just nodded and went to sleep. I was tired!

Busted! - Chapter 5.4: Damage Control

One thing I hate about being at work is the fact that I become so unreachable. Menzi had tried calling me the whole day that day and if I was him, I would have probably thought that I was having cold feet when it came to him moving in with me. Lincoln had also tried getting a hold of me for whatever reason. Morithi on the other hand managed to get hold of me and asked that I bring him something to eat.

I got to Kempton Park where Menzi stayed with his mother. He came to the car with his bags whilst I went inside to greet his mother. She told me that he had been down for most of the day and she was trying to understand why. I figured it's because I had been busy the whole day. She was a great woman, she offered me money for Menzi but I refused it and told her that I would take care of Menzi myself. Menzi wasn't from a well-off family and it only felt right for me to shed some load off of his mother's shoulders. I bid her farewell and went to help Menzi with the rest of his belongings.

We got into the car and prepared to leave his house. "What's wrong Menzi?" I asked. "Nothing, I'm just not myself today." he replied. I could see that he was hiding something from me so I probed him until he came out with it. He asked me if my life was always that hectic. Truth is, most of the time it is but I try my utmost best to make time for those that I love. He wasn't very pleased by it but if he wanted to be with me, he had to understand that my career was important to me because it is the one man that would never cheat on me. Before we can get into relationships we need to figure out what it is we want from our partners but at the same time, we need to ask ourselves what it is that we're willing to give. With Menzi and me, it was a problem because he wanted all my time and I only had little to give, especially during the week however, I had to find a way to make it work because I really wanted to be with him.

We drove off and made our way to the commune. I called Morithi to check if he had satisfied his hunger and he said he hadn't. I stopped at a drive-thru and I got enough food for everyone. Since high school, I had always felt responsible for Morithi, he was like my little brother but in actual fact he was older than me. Whenever he would call with a problem, I'd drop everything to make sure that I attend to him. It became worse after his mother's death. As much as it was Morithi that wanted to eat, I couldn't fathom buying food just for him so I bought food for everyone even without knowing what the situation was that forced him to call me for food. I really love feeding people; it is a quality I got from my mother. We are very generous people and even more so when it comes to food.

We arrived at the commune to find Kelebogile and Lincoln sitting outside looking like the world's best couple. We greeted them and started offloading Menzi's stuff. Lincoln came to offer us help with Menzi's luggage. Menzi and I were so shocked especially because of the way he had behaved previous day. We did need the help though so he came in handy.

We entered the house and Morithi came running to the door to collect what belonged to him. You should have seen how the rest of the boys came running when they realized there was food in the house, it was almost as if I was living with homeless people. Apparently Nigel was supposed to do grocery shopping but he "drank" the money and everyone was livid!

I noticed that KG wasn't in the house when I arrived but I didn't ask where he was. I took Menzi's stuff to the bedroom and Lincoln followed me leaving Menzi downstairs with everyone else. When we were in my bedroom he approached me and told me that he was sorry for his actions and that he would back off if I wanted him to. He also told me that he was planning to go on with the wedding. "Oh okay! Well good luck." I said before he walked out of the room. That was a mature side of him, one that I'd never seen...

Busted! - Chapter 5.3: Pressure Point

I get to the SWAG offices ready to have a hectic day because things there are more hectic than they are at 3Complex. Zanele went on to spoil my day by telling me that we had to complete the 42nd issue of SWAG on that exact day as the following week had a long holiday. I was so frustrated because that wasn't how I had imagined my day to be.

There I was seated in the office trying to write articles to fill up the magazine. "Why are you guys so disorganized this side? How do we NOT have back up for situations such as these?" I asked. "Earl, I apologise man, but can we just focus on the work for now!" Zanele replied. People were running up and down with files trying to get as much work done as possible. After three hours of sitting at my desk uninterrupted, I was still nowhere near done with my work. It was a very busy day. I had worked since I finished high school but not like that. At 9pm, we were doing the final touches to the magazine before sending it for print.

Zanele then arranged transport for the staff that wasn't mobile. We wrapped everything up and left for home. As Zanele and I were approaching our cars at the parking lot, I felt uneasy and instructed Zanele to go back in to the office because something was wrong. I remember feeling dizzy for a second before someone tried to attack me from behind. I hit him with my briefcase, repeatedly until he was unconscious. I then called security to come and take care of the matter. What most people didn't know about me was that I had a sixth sense, as much as I tried to ignore it, there were times when it came on too strong like on that day at the SWAG offices.

I went to fetch Zanele and walked her to her car. She was panicking until she saw that security had started dealing with the matter. I didn't even want to know who that guy was or why he did what he did because I felt as if the more I knew, the more in danger I'd put myself. I worked for a magazine but I knew what not to entertain because I knew how it would end. Together with Zanele we drove off and went our separate ways…

Busted! - Chapter 5.2: Hectic? No Way (continued)

In our offices, it is less stressful than it is out of them. It's one of the places where we get to relax and think properly about the activities that we have lined up for the day. It was Lincoln's first day at work and I hadn't gotten to see him and his new team. At 2pm that day, I got my SWAG files and headed over to the SWAG offices in Midrand.

As I was leaving, Sihle and Gavin came to my office to discuss the status report of the company. Business meetings with my best friends are a lot more playful than they are business. We spend more time talking about other things than we do about business because we strive to cover business first so as to buy time to talk about other things. It's a beautiful feeling when you see everything that you've worked so hard for bearing you fruits. Initially I had wanted to start a company with Lincoln, but I didn't go through with it because it was more of a ploy to keep him in my life until I had my values reassessed.

The press came that day to do their spread on 3Complex and I left everything in the capable hands of my best friends. The journalist was hot though. I'm pretty sure Gavin wasn't able to keep his pants on that day…

Busted! - Chapter 5.1: Hectic! No Way?

The next morning I woke up feeling fresh and energized. I had to go to the SWAG offices after my shift at 3Complex because our 42nd issue was due to be released the following week. The water at the hotel was boiling hot. My skin was even red. Hot water for me was a luxury since I lived in a commune.

I went down to the lounge to have breakfast and I found Menzi sitting there waiting for me. He saw me coming in so I couldn't turn back as much as I wanted to. I slowly walked towards him with my hands in my pocket and greeted him. "You look good in work gear" he said trying to break the ice. "What do you want here?" I asked. "I just need to talk to you" he said. I sat down and listened to what he had to say. He rehashed that whole issue with Lincoln and KG before telling me that he will tolerate anything as long as he gets to be with me.

So it was official, Menzi was moving in with me. I wasn't really impressed by his indecisive nature. I did however keep a happy front and ensured him that I would do everything within my power to make his stay with me pleasant. We had breakfast together and he asked to come to work with me because he wanted to see what I do. I felt that it was too soon for that so I refused and dropped him off at his place before I went to work. I knew that I'd see him later when I collect him and his stuff but I was missing him like I had last seen him decades ago.

A day at work for me isn't one of the nicest. I basically get to work to hear phones ringing like babies after birth. Gavin, Sihle and I then have a meeting with the rest of the team to find out if there are any new developments. That day, Johan who works for HR let us know about the three web designers he had hired for our new campaign. We knew one of them and all that was left was for us to meet the rest. We then report to the auditorium where our theatre group rehearses on a daily basis. They too had a big gig in China, a competition that paid up to R800 000. Once we have seen their progress, we head up to the fashion department where other projects are taking place. Costumes are being designed for the theatre group for their local gigs and dresses for top businesswomen in South Africa. Once that is done, we head over to the estate agency where we conduct audits to see if everything is being done in accordance with our code of conduct. Thereafter we head to our respective offices and deal with calls from clients all over the world, conferences that have to be attended and other adhoc work. That day, a national newspaper was coming into our office to do a spread on our company. We were all on our best behavior so as to avoid bad press…

Busted! - Chapter 4.5: Anger Management

I checked in to a hotel in Sandton whilst Menzi was at home preparing for his move. I had started contemplating if I still wanted to continue living at the Gigolo's Castle or if I wanted to move in to my own place. As much as I wanted to live alone, I knew that I didn't have it in me to make that work because I am a very co-dependent person.

Sihle called me to find out where I was, I told him and he told me that he'd stop by during the course of the day. I sat on my laptop for close to three hours working on some things for 3Complex. 3Complex was really doing well and if there's anything I had to be proud of, it was that. I remember I always wanted to believe that money didn't change me, but that wasn't really the case because there were people who called Sihle, Gavin and I The Plastics. I just thought that it had more to do with jealousy than the title itself. The receptionist called to tell me that I had visitors downstairs. I thought it was Sihle and Gavin so I went downstairs thinking that we'd chill at the lounge, have a few drinks and catch up as we usually would. When I got downstairs I found that it was actually Sihle and Menzi. The pair never liked each other in high school but I found them downstairs having a decent conversation. It was cute.

I told Sihle to go up to the hotel room whilst I took Menzi to the lounge to find out what was bothering him. He told me that he wouldn't be able to move in with me because he felt that KG and Lincoln were not really fond of him and that would just make his stay in the house very uncomfortable. I felt like it was just an excuse. Menzi was hiding something from me and I didn't really know what it was but I didn't bother to question him, I simply nodded and asked him if that's all he wanted to say. He said yes and he left.

I went up to the hotel room where I found Sihle helping himself to some wine. I joined him on that motive and he started telling me about Lincoln. Apparently Lincoln had told him that he would move out of the house if that's what I wanted. I really never wanted any of that, as much as the commune belonged to my mother, I didn't see the need to use that as leverage over anyone. Lincoln was just being his dramatic self and I was confused by his actions but I chose not to let it bother me. Menzi on the other hand was another one that I refused to follow around. I was just not in the mood to be chasing people around trying to make them see the world through my eyes. Sihle left at around 10pm that night.

As soon as he left, I felt so lonely. My mind was preoccupied with a thousand thoughts and I just couldn't get it to relax. I tried meditating but I wasn't on the right frequency to do that. Menzi tried calling me eight times and I ignored him. He then left me a message telling me that he would do anything to make me happy. How does one do that? I mean if you are not happy yourself, how do you expect to make someone else happy? I understand that there's being selfless but there's also being naïve. You cannot please someone if it makes you unhappy. If something is not right with you, accept it and try finding solutions that are fitting to both of you. Do not sacrifice yourself for someone else's happiness. I really do not agree with that.

Busted! - Chapter 4.4: Hangover

It was one o'clock in the afternoon when Sihle and Gavin budged into my bedroom to check if we were still alive. Menzi and I slept at around four in the morning that day so we were extremely tired. Sihle wanted to talk to me about Jake and Gavin just wanted to listen. I woke up and went to take a shower after telling them both that I'd join them downstairs for a catch up session.

When I was done I woke Menzi up because I had to return him home before his mother called and bit my head off. He woke up and went to go take a shower whilst I dressed up. I remember being so tired that day that I didn't want to do anything especially given the fact that I had to report to 3Complex the next day.

I went downstairs to join the rest of the crew. I found KG, Nigel, Zama, Morithi, Malcolm and Sihle. The others were chilling outside enjoying the beautiful weather that was that Sunday. I asked them how their night was. Everyone responded positively besides KG who got up and went to the kitchen. I followed him and found him drinking water. He was obviously not happy about something and I thought that it had Gavin written all over it. "Are you okay?" I asked. He told me that should be the least of my worries since I decided to reconnect with Menzi. "You can't be serious right now KG!" I said. I then went on to tell him that I'm not going to stop living my life because he developed a sudden unexplainable interest in me. KG was trying very hard to make my stay in the house completely uncomfortable and it was really starting to get to me. "As a matter of fact, Menzi is moving in!" I said to him out of anger. I think I said that to test his reaction but unfortunately for me Menzi was standing by the kitchen door and he heard me say that.

"I am?" Menzi asked. "Yes Menzi… you are" I replied and KG walked out of the kitchen. It was at that point that I realized that KG was being difficult for some other reasons. Maybe he wasn't happy with my return to the house or he was secretly hoping that I'd remain "faithful" to him whilst he played his games with Lerato. "Did you have to lie about me moving in?" Menzi asked. "I wasn't lying, I was going to ask you" I replied. "So what the hell are you waiting for? Ask me!" he said with excitement. Truth is I wasn't going to ask him at all. I guess I put myself on the spot with that one and before I could even ask him, he said yes.

He then jumped onto me and we started kissing before Lincoln entered the kitchen. "Guys, I believe we all have rooms" he said as he cleared his throat. People in that house had issues and it seemed like they all had issues with me. I was starving, so I sent Menzi to the room to collect my car keys and my wallet because I wasn't going to stay in that house until people had gotten enough time to get over themselves. Menzi left the kitchen and I was left with Lincoln. "Why are you doing this?" he asked. "Not you now! I'm really not in the mood for all of this" I replied. He called me a selfish bitch who didn't consider anyone else's feelings but my own. I didn't respond to anything that he said. I calmly walked out of the kitchen and waited for Menzi to come downstairs with the car keys.

Whilst I was in the car ready to drive off, I decided to take my work stuff and a few clothes because I was so fed up. I didn't want to return to the commune that day so I called to make reservations at a hotel in Sandton. "Where are you going Earl?" asked Sihle. I didn't say much to him except that I'd see him at work the next day. I had even forgotten that there was something he wanted to talk to me about. Menzi was also a bit confused so he asked me the same question. "I am not sleeping here tonight, some people are really hung-over!" I said as I drove off.

Busted! - Chapter 4.3: Let's Get It On

Menzi and I were in my bedroom when I decided to change into my sleepwear i.e. underwear. I really enjoyed being naked. I never was a fan of clothing. The only reason I wore clothes was because it was the right thing to do and not wearing clothes was illegal. I had always dreamt of being a model but my height didn't really agree with that. In fact, at some point I wanted to be a porn star but my dignity carried me.

I went inside the sheets whilst I waited for Menzi who was in the bathroom. He came out of the bathroom and decided that he wanted to give me a strip show. I had never received a private strip show and what was nice about this stripper was that I could actually sleep with him. At the end of his show when he had nothing left to take off, he jumped onto the bed and started kissing me. I went with the flow and then I pushed him off. Before anything could happen between him and me, we had to discuss a few things and know exactly where we stood. I personally just needed to know that he was ready for whatever was coming his way because when we broke up, that wasn't really the case. He assured me that he was and that he would do right by me the second time around. Horny people always know what to say.

After we had sex, we had our usual pillow talks, Menzi told me that he was ready to build something solid with me and that he would want us to move in together. Initially I had thought of getting my own place but as time went, I realised that there really wasn't a need for me to waste money whilst I could just tolerate the Gigolo's Castle and its clowns. I was waiting for the perfect companion before moving into my own place.  

Menzi then decided to spoil what could have been a beautiful night by dropping a bomb on me. "There's something I need to tell you.  Whilst you were away… I became a father" he said. I quickly got up and went to lock myself in the bathroom. I didn't know what to do or how to feel about that. He had a child, an innocent child that did nothing wrong BUT what did that mean for me and him? I just needed time to digest all of that. He told me that the sooner I knew the better it would be for him because he would know if he should carry on pushing for more or just let me go because he wasn't going to choose between me and his child. I then came out of the bathroom and asked him where the child was. He told me the child was with his mother and that his name was Uyanda. He was two years old.

I went back to bed and we started talking about how everything happened. I felt like I had rushed into things with Menzi, the thing with him was that I had dated him before and we were just picking up from where we left off. The only problem though, was that he gave me a lot to pick up, his baggage was heavy. I was however mature about the situation and pledged to make it work only if he would meet me halfway. In the mean time, Thebe was haunting me and I was trying everything I could to block out images of him.

Busted! - Chapter 4.2: Throw Up (continued)

Lincoln stood up to give us his confession. "Oh well guys, I got a job at 3Complex as a web designer" he said. It was quite clear that he didn't know what 3Complex was or who it was owned by. Gavin, Sihle and I were also in the dark with news related to Lincoln's employment because we didn't deal with any of that. "Wow, so you're going to be working for gay people?" said KG. Lincoln was a bit startled by the discovery. KG then went on to tell him that 3Complex was managed by the three gays in the room. Lincoln was shocked by this, including some of the housemates. Gavin was really not taking kindly to KG's attitude towards Lincoln working for "gays". "KG, darling, when you decide to come out of the closet, know that we have a managerial position waiting ESPECIALLY for you" Gavin said. Before we knew it, KG and Gavin were at each other's throats. Lerato asked KG if he was gay in front of everyone. This coming from your girlfriend obviously had to hurt one's ego. "But I love the gays!" she added. That house had a lot of interesting characters.

When that drama had died down a little, KG decided to stand up and give us his confession. I was so nervous. I didn't know what he would say but I was secretly hoping that I'd have nothing to do with it especially because Menzi was around. KG knew I was uncomfortable with him standing in front of us and he looked at me to ensure that I was pissing my pants. All this for him was exciting. "I don't have a confession guys, let's drink to that!" he said. The boys were rowdy but they had to just let it go because they couldn't force him to confess. I was relieved even though I knew that KG wouldn't say anything that would blow his cover.

It was my turn to confess. I had nothing to say obviously. The guys had met Menzi and I really didn't think there was anything that was newsworthy enough to be brought out. I snubbed my turn and passed it on to Gavin who wasn't a part of our tradition. The boys were okay with it. "Oh well, thanks for allowing me this great opportunity to let you know what has been going on in my mind. Let's just say I'm going to confess what I've been thinking. I think KG is a flaming faggot! Sorry Lerato…" Gavin said with a smile. The funniest thing about what Gavin said is that no one felt the need to contest it. The night obviously had to end there because people started dispersing to avoid having to be asked for their opinions. Lerato and Gavin had their mini catfight before KG intervened and became Gavin's second opponent that night. "You just want me dude, and you'll never get me" KG said to Gavin. "Oh shut up Sophie, go to bed with your girlfriend and meditate on getting erect!" replied Gavin. I took Menzi and we went to our bedroom. Whatever was brewing between Gavin and KG was a too hard for me to handle. Gavin and catfights though…

Busted! - Chapter 4.1: Throw Up!

As Menzi and I were driving to Zambezi to meet up with the rest of the guys, one of our favourite songs "When I See You" by Fantasia played on the radio. I remember in high school I used to have this undeniable crush on Menzi and every time I heard that song I would think of him. I was so afraid to tell him how I felt about him. In the end though, he revealed to me that he had also been feeling the same way about me but he too was afraid. I honestly believe that is the reason why good relationships don't happen these days, we're too afraid to express how we feel about certain people when we can actually find that those people feel the same way about us.

On our way to Zambezi we were stopped by a police officer. I reckon it's because we were playing loud music and he probably thought we were under the influence. He asked for my driver's license and when I gave it to him, he looked at it for a good two minutes before asking who the license belonged to between Menzi and me. It was quite evident that Menzi and I really looked alike. We managed to convince him though and drove off.

We arrived at the club to find KG and the group waiting for us outside. KG didn't look too happy to see that I had come with Menzi. He knew Menzi from school and also knew that I had something with him after Lincoln. Malcolm on the other hand was there with Sihle but he kept his distance. He didn't want to be seen next to Sihle in public. That's the one thing I hate about closet cases, you are only their boyfriend when it suits them!

We had a great time even though we were separated for social reasons. Gavin, Sihle, Menzi and I were on one end of the club, and the "straight" ones on the other. Gavin was fuming, he wanted to grab Malcolm and give him a piece of his mind. He was highly capable of doing that so we didn't try to stop him because the more you try to stop Gavin, the more you actually push him. We had a lot of fun though, so much that we forgot we were there with "straight" people until it was time to head back home. I was too drunk to drive. We dispersed ourselves amongst the three cars that were available to take us home. KG drove my car with me, Menzi, Nigel and Zama. Sihle drove away with Malcolm, Morithi and Thobile. Whilst Gavin drove with Lincoln, Kelebogile and Lerato. We all arrived at the commune safely and continued with the partying.

Whenever we got drunk with the boys, we liked to play a game called Drunk Confessions. Malcolm was the first to get up. He couldn't even stand straight. He turned off the music and looked at all of us before telling us that he and Sihle were an item and that we should f*%k off if we had a problem with it. Now that was obviously directed to his straight clique. Sihle seemed a bit shocked when Malcolm did that, but I reckon it was a bittersweet moment for him. The guys on the other hand were mumbling amongst themselves and KG said that my return to Johannesburg was confusing far too many people.

Nigel then decided to take his stand and told us that he was going to check himself into a rehabilitation centre for his alcohol addiction because he TOO wanted to get married to Zama. He received a round of applause, unlike Malcolm who got some blank stares. "Your friends are mad" Menzi whispered as he laughed. I loved them with their madness.

Morithi got up very slowly. Thobile was already up waiting for him to fall, but he didn't. He held his girlfriend who was all smiles before dropping the news on us. "We are pregnant!" he confessed. I was so happy. I was so excited, I felt like he told me that I was pregnant, or something of that nature because I really wanted a child with everything that I had but for a gay man, it's not that easy. Gavin yawned and turned the music back on. "I can't believe I wasted 2 minutes of my life listening to this!" he said. Sihle and I just laughed whilst the boys verbally attacked him. He stood there like a rock, unbothered by all their comments. "Are you fools done?" he calmly asked. Sihle and I intervened and took him away from the sound system. Menzi sat there laughing. Gavin is dramatic, we knew that. There was then an awkward silence because we were waiting for someone else to confess…