At about 2am I woke up for the fifth time because I just couldn’t fall asleep after what Lincoln had told me about him and Kelebogile. I was feeling all sorts of things, but as much as I wanted to be angry at Lincoln, I didn’t have the right to be because he wasn’t with me when he and Kelebogile conceived that baby. I’ve been rejected before by my father and I know how it is to grow up feeling like you’re not enough so I knew that whether the pregnancy was real or not, that child was innocent and he or she deserved the best kind of loving from both his/her parents. I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I guess I loved Lincoln so much that I was actually welcoming to the idea of loving his child too if it all boiled down to that. Lincoln woke up and found me crying. It was dark but I think the sniffing gave it all away.
“You’re crying…” he said. We had an argument about whether I was crying or not because I kept on telling him that I wasn’t crying and that he should go back to sleep. He got up and turned on the light so that he could see my face. When he realized that I was crying, he knelt down beside me and started apologizing. “This situation is beyond my control. If there’s anything that you think I should do, please just tell me now. I will do anything in my power to make this work. Just tell me what to do!” he requested. “Just love me. It’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted from you. Just love me” I cried. He kissed me on my forehead and promised me that he would do that, no matter what it took.
Malcolm then walked in to my bedroom because he was convinced he heard sounds coming from the room. “Is everything okay in here?” he asked. You could see that he was 70% asleep and the 30% was concerned. It was a funny scene. He came in wearing undies and he had quite an interesting erection bulging from his undies. It was my first time seeing Malcolm in undies and he temporarily managed to take my mind away from what was bothering me that night. Sihle was indeed lucky. KG still took the cup but Sihle was lucky.
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