I woke with the mother of all hangovers. I was so confused; I think it’s only at that time that things started sinking in. I was in a relationship with KG and everything just happened overnight. The previous night Kelebogile had told me how I was making her life difficult and I didn’t even understand what she was talking about but I figured Lincoln might have just reacted in a certain way to the announcement KG had made about us. I was feeling all sorts of things, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to be with KG. I felt like everything about us was based on lies and I was just feeling sorry for him so I dated him just so that I do not hurt his already hurt feelings. I had an idea that KG would make me happy if I gave him the chance but my heart was with Lincoln and there was nothing I could do about that. I just didn’t know how to get over him. That morning I woke up and decided that I was going to just claim what belongs to me regardless of what Kelebogile or KG felt. Lincoln belonged to me and I was just not letting it go.
“Good morning” KG said as he woke up reaching for a kiss. I immediately jumped out of bed and said “Morning!” I went downstairs to brush my teeth and washed my face before waking people up and sending them home. I started cleaning but when I realized that the workload was too much, I woke the rest of the housemates up and asked for help. Everyone helped, even Thobile whom I told to stay in bed because she was pregnant. When we were done cleaning, we started cooking and chilled in our cliques.
Lincoln kept giving me the evil eye and it was starting to bother me. The rest of the housemates were still trying to figure out if they are the ones that were drunk when KG announced that we were an item. I couldn’t shake off the feeling that Lincoln was repeatedly stabbing me in his thoughts so I went up to him to talk to him about the whole situation.
“Hey, are you okay?” I asked. He just gave me a blank stare and asked me what I wanted from him. “I just want us to talk, that’s if it’s cool with you” I replied. He nodded. His reaction just made me so weak that I just felt like walking away because I was starting to feel humiliated, please note that I HATE feeling that way. When he could see that my mood was starting to deteriorate, he decided to hijack the conversation. “I just don’t know how much I have to do for you to realize that it’s you I want to be with. You just keep doing things to provoke me and it’s getting to me now. You know I love you, you know I want to be with you, you know everything but you just insist on making me look like a fool! I can’t pretend anymore…” he said. It was always about him and how I am the bad person when he was the one who was still with the girl that he left me for but the mature Earl in me told me to relax and think before I spoke. When he saw that I wasn’t saying anything, he spoke again. “I love you so much Earl, almost as if my life depends on it and every day I look at you and kick myself for letting you go” he added. He then banged his hands on the table and ran for the door. That attracted a lot of attention from everyone in the house. He ran out of the house. A few minutes later, when it started to register to me, I drove out on a quest to find him wherever he was. I couldn’t see him anywhere. I drove around the whole area and when I eventually found running him I parked ahead of him and stood in front of him to stop him. He then knelt down and grabbed my leg as he gasped for air and started crying.
“Why are you doing this to me?” he cried. “I’m so sorry Lincoln, I’m so sorry! I love you, you know that I do but you’re with someone else and I also can’t bear it anymore. It has just gotten too much for me, if we’re going to be together again, we need to leave this place and start over” I replied. I apologized to him for not paying attention to him when he needed me the most. He kissed me and I kissed him back. I really loved Lincoln and I kept on convincing myself that I didn’t but it was just getting harder for me to pretend. We got into the car because it had started raining and we talked a bit more about where we were headed. Lincoln just said that he wanted us to announce our reunion to the housemates. You can only imagine how I felt at that point. Lincoln and KG had underlying issues with each other and they were using me to prove a point to each other. “I say we tell Kelebogile and KG everything, what do you say?” asked Lincoln.
No comments:
Post a Comment