I finally decided that I was just going to live through everything that was happening. It felt like I sucked at this love game and no matter how hard I tried to stay in a relationship, it just wouldn’t work. It seemed like all I did was attract or cause drama and it had gotten to a point where I just felt like quitting this whole thing altogether. Kelebogile was probably very happy wherever she was because she was finally getting the man that we both loved and she was only getting away with him because she was a girl and I was a guy. Life isn’t fair but sometimes you just have to take whatever is thrown at you and run with it but not from it. I held on and faced my demons.
I woke up and started packing all of Lincoln’s belongings as his father had requested to KG. KG agreed to go and drop them off because I just wasn’t going to go there to face that man again. I had never experienced so much hate from a family and it was really hard for me to come to terms with it. Lincoln’s mother was a beautiful understanding woman but she was married to a beast and at the same time was a mother to another beast, Anthony. It was quite obvious that Lincoln took after his mother. I on the other hand reached a point where I figured I had to move out of the Gigolo’s Castle and start a brand new life on my own. I didn’t know how I was going to manage but I had to grow up.
I wanted so badly to see Lincoln’s reaction when he was told that he would be marrying Kelebogile whether he approved or not. I think that would be enough to drive me back into a coma. I guess I’ve always known that life was unfair especially because my father rejected me twice but I never stopped loving him as a father, I simply had to accept that he didn’t want me in his life and forgive him for the things he said so that I could live a happy life. It does however seem like when you’re gay, things just get exacerbated. If only people knew and understood the people whom we truly are, how much love we have in our hearts and how we are forced to be positive about life because of all the prejudice we face from those who just carry hate towards us for no apparent reason. We just want to live a good life like everyone else and sometimes we all wish we could wake up in Homophobia-free world where everyone would love who they want to love without the fear of being judged.
People seem to think that they can run away from who they are by getting married heterosexually but if you’re born gay, you will die gay and you can run but for how long? Being gay is not disgusting it’s just different. I cannot imagine a world where everyone were to be straight, it would just be boring and there’d probably be an even larger population by now which would have been a disaster because governments are failing to cope with the current population. Being gay is exciting, we bring diversity, we bring life and we are certainly oozing with spunk.
Anyway I decided that I wasn’t going to sit around and feel sorry for myself. I had to just accept that I’ve lost the love game and move on, that’s just it!
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