I drove to the closest service station, parked my car and started thinking. After a few moments, I decided! I was going back to Johannesburg to focus on things that side. Having gone through the motions, I decided to call Thebe to let him know about my sudden departure. His phone just went unanswered. I had not spoken to him since the incident happened. It felt like he was avoiding me for some reason and that drove me crazy. I called my friend KG to inform him that I was coming back to Johannesburg and that I’d prefer to have my old room back. I filled up my tank and started my long drive to Johannesburg.
My mom owned a house in Johannesburg, which she then turned into a commune when she moved to Cape Town. I stayed there for a year with my straight friends who knew about my sexual orientation. A year later, my mom felt the need to have me closer to her and that is what motivated my move to Cape Town. I am what most people call a “Mama’s Boy”. Living in Johannesburg without my mother wasn’t very pleasant because of the drama that had happened prior to me leaving for Cape Town. I left everything and everyone behind including my two best friends Sihle and Gavin, who were gay too.
At the commune, which was located in Northriding, I stayed with KG aka Kagiso, Morithi, Malcolm, Nigel and my confused ex, Lincoln. We all went to high school together. They formed part of my “straight” clique. KG was the party animal. He always had an excuse to either host a party or attend one. Together, he and I would plan parties that would become the talk of Jones Marc High School. Morithi was the weird one who spoke to himself… a lot! In the tenth grade, his mother passed away and he didn’t take her death very well. He just became a zombie. He also LOVED his alcohol. Malcolm was the sweet one, he didn’t really say much, all he ever did was laugh and say a few words per day. Malcolm and Sihle had something in high school, but just like Lincoln, Malcolm couldn’t handle the pressure of being called names by the rest of our peers. We were however still young and those kinds of things did matter then, which is why Lincoln and I broke up. The pressure got to him and he left me for a girl named Kelebogile, whom I’d never even met. Before leaving for Cape Town, Lincoln impregnated her, I had no idea she even existed at the time I found out. It really shattered me. Anyway, last but not least is Nigel; he’s the strict one who keeps us all in check. He’s a hardcore Zulu boy that everyone fears. He behaves like he’s like my father. As soon as he found out about my sexual orientation, he took it upon himself to protect me from anyone that tried to hurt me. For him, my being gay was dangerous and it would only get me killed.
After a long 18 hour drive, I arrived at the commune feeling rather worn out. WRONG feeling if you ask me. When I got there, I actually thought I was lost at first, but I wasn’t. That raggedy looking house was actually where I once stayed. It looked like a dumping site. The windows were dusty. The pool was almost poisonous. The garden had suffered major drought. I could not believe my eyes. You could have sworn no one stayed there, that house was a mess… and I was still just outside, looking at everything from the gate.
I hooted for attention. A cheerful lady, who looked like she forgot where the BATH room was, came to open the gate. I drove in slowly, at that point I was contemplating whether I still wanted to stay there or go book into a hotel until the mess was sorted. The lady approached me; she was beautiful and had a beautiful smile too. I wasn’t smiling at all. In fact I gave that girl looks that would send her straight to the bath tub but she wasn’t bothered. “Hey, Earl right? I heard you were coming. I’m Kelebogile, Lincoln’s girlfriend” she said.
God knows I wasn’t ready to meet that girl yet. In fact I thought she was out of the picture. Truth is, I never really got over Lincoln, and when I learnt that he and Kelebogile had held on for that long, I knew that what they had was real and all I had to do was accept and move on. It had been three years since I had left and Kelebogile was still there. I smiled at her and told her I was happy to meet her. As if!
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