The first thing I do every morning before jumping out of bed is look up to the ceiling and plan my day. After doing that, I meditate and ask the Universe or whoever is listening at the time to grant me a great day. That morning however, I couldn’t even do that because I was so scared that ceiling would fall on me.
As much as that was one of the things I noticed, I couldn’t help thinking about Thebe and how he could have been feeling about my sudden departure. He called me a number of times the previous night, but he wasn’t aware that I had already moved to Johannesburg. Eventually I’d have to meet him and let him know why I took that decision without his consent and I spent some time thinking about the way forward.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on my door. It was Lincoln and he had brought me breakfast. I smiled, and that’s only because I didn’t know what else to do. Lincoln was a Libra, he was so romantic and that’s one of the things that made me love him even after all those years I guess. He sat on the chair I had placed next to my big window looking directly into my eyes. We both said nothing to each other, but that was one of the best conversations I’ve had in a long time.
Unfortunately we both had people of our own and I just couldn’t afford to find myself in another messy love triangle with Lincoln. “What can I do for you Lincoln?” I asked. He told me how much he missed me. It was a beautiful thing to say but he had to destroy it by asking if I didn’t miss him at all when I was in Cape Town.
I didn’t answer him; in fact, I got out of bed knowing how mad he is about my body and walked to my bathroom. I lived in the main bedroom, and that meant I didn’t have to share the shower with anyone, pity that rule didn’t apply to hot water. I could have sat and talked to Lincoln but I was still reeling from what had happened before I left for Cape Town. I had to face and tackle that before building or rebuilding anything with Lincoln. At the same time we were both committed to other people and I wanted to keep things that way.
After having my breakfast in bed, I decided to go join everyone else downstairs. I could feel the tension as I approached the stairs. Everyone just went quiet. I remember standing there for a couple of seconds before taking the first step down. As I slowly went down the stairs, I found them staring at me. It was so awkward. It was evident that before I came down, I was the topic! “Uhm… am I disturbing something?” I asked. “No! No! Never, come join us” they muttered. I went to the kitchen to wash my dishes and uncomfortably went into the lounge to join them…
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