Normally the couples sit together at the dining table but that night all the couples were scattered. It was quite evident that there were more couples affected by the game than it seemed. I sat in between Thobile and Zama. Thobile gave me a pat on the back because she could see that I was down. I just smiled at her. She was pregnant and at war with Morithi, something I felt should have not been happening at all. I greeted everyone and I realized that Kelebogile and Sihle both gave me evil looks and barely replied. I wasn’t fazed though; I just made myself comfortable and prepared to eat. It was still too quiet at the table that I could actually hear myself swallow.
KG then received a call and excused himself. Lerato was still in love with KG, as much as they had just broken up, she couldn’t help but wait for him to come back before she continued eating. A few minutes later KG slowly walked back to the table with his hands on his head and he broke down in front of everyone.
Lerato jumped out of her chair and ran to hug him. We were all concerned so we all just stopped eating and gathered up around him to find out what was going on. As much as we were all angry at him, him breaking down just led us all to forgetting what he had done or said for that matter. “KG, are you okay?” I asked. He couldn’t even speak. He was in a lot of pain and we couldn’t understand if he was reacting to what had happened earlier or if he had just heard some bad news. He kept on whispering “I deserve this”. It was at that point that we knew that something bad had happened. I rushed to the kitchen to mix up some sugar water for him so that he could calm down and be able to talk to us. Everyone gathered up around him feeling sorry for him even though at the time we had no idea what had happened.
He drank the sugar water and started to breath properly. He then cleared his throat and looked at the boys and shook his head whilst facing down. We all looked at each other trying to figure out exactly what was going on. After some time he gathered enough strength to get up and told us the devastating news that shook him up in that manner. “It’s my father… he was killed a few hours ago!” he said. Everyone gasped for air. Lerato, who knew KG’s father as much as Malcolm, Morithi, Lincoln, Nigel and I did, collapsed and suffered a panic attack. We were all so saddened by the news and seeing Lerato struggling in that manner was painful for most of us that we too started to cry. Even Sihle and the other girls who didn’t know KG’s father were shaken by the news. It was the saddest moment I’d ever experienced in the house. Everyone was giving each other hugs trying to comfort each other. Gavin upon hearing the news came rushing to the house too. Gavin had a good heart, he didn’t even like KG as much but he was there to support him in those testing times.
We called KG’s father The Big Guy. He wasn’t just his father, he was our father too, especially me because I grew up without a father. I had lost a very significant part of my life. He knew that I was KG’s gay friend and he always treated me extra special from all the boys because he felt I was too soft. I couldn’t believe he was gone… what hurt even more is the fact that since I had returned to Johannesburg, I had not even made any plans to go and see him. I guess there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We’re so quick to say we will love people as if we are dying, when the notion should really be that we’ll love them like THEY are dying. If I were to ask you what you would do differently if I brought a loved one back to life, what would you say? Love them, spend more time with them, get to know them better etc. Well, I suggest you start doing those things whilst you still have whoever it is that you’re left with, because even when they die, you will be happy with yourself for making them feel the way that they did in their living years.
In the middle of the night, KG came up to my room because he couldn’t fall asleep. I got up so that I could keep him company until he asked to sleep in my room. Under normal circumstances I would have told him he was crazy and that he should get out of my room but this was different and I didn’t know what it was that he felt that made him believe that being in my bed would make things better. We talked about his father and the things that he used to do until KG fell asleep. He kept waking up every 30 minutes until I decided to give him the sleeping tablets I had gotten whilst I was in hospital. They knocked him out…
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